The Light of a Funeral

The media said nearly a thousand people; I counted 1200+. The public funeral for the 16 year old killed in the bus crash near Albertville, MN on April 5th. The one that sent my daughter to North Memorial Hospital overnight. The one that brought enough fear to my journey to dim the light for a time. That one.
It was harder to bear than I thought. Or maybe I just didn’t spend very much time really thinking about it. Because to really acknowledge Jessica Weishair’s death is to contemplate what a couple of inches and a whole ton of unknown circumstances could have meant for Hannah, my daughter and who really knows how many other kids who walked away, wounded but alive.
There were myriads of flowers. Lots of posters with kids’ grief in colorful marker and simple drawings. There was the combined high school band, in their usual black attire, honoring her with a flower filled empty chair in the flute section. There was the music the band, with amazing poise and stalwart talent, played in her honor. There was Mr. Fitzsimmons, directing with distinction. There were words and stories and scripture and songs. And a deep, deep pain.
All I could manage to say to Jessica’s father: “Each hug is a prayer.”
Pastor Rotvold gave us light, though. I suppose his message is written somewhere for public consumption; I hope so. While I cannot recall quotes from his sermon, do carry away a gentle light to ease my fears and draw my tears. The tears needed to be drawn out from my soul, to drain away some darkness so that light would return His words gave all of us that gift. I must find a way to thank him. His daughter has become one of my daughter’s best friends in the last couple years. What they have been through these last days has welded that connection with a glow that will not easily fade. I must thank him and his wife for that too.
Yes, it was harder than I had anticipated. Even writing here draws tears again. I know the shedding of those tears is part of the healing. I pray it comes for the Weishair family too.